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The post Nephew Whacking The Hell Out Of Tree Trunk With Stick appeared first on The Onion .

GRAND JUNCTION, COPausing as he lifted a forkful of lettuce and baby spinach toward his mouth, local man Logan Barger reportedly took a moment Monday to appreciate what a good boy he was being as he ate his salad. Wow, look at all these greens, not to mention the cucumber slices and the cherry tomatoes, [] The post Man Eating Salad Takes Moment To Appreciate What A Good Boy Hes Being appeared first on The Onion .

CHICAGOPulling out their phones to capture footage of the extraordinary event, lucky participants in a Chicago architecture tour reportedly witnessed a rare live feeding of the Willis Tower on Monday. In my 20 years of leading tours in the Windy City, Ive never seen anything quite like this, said tour guide Anthony Gillespie, noting that [] The post Lucky Chicago Architecture Tour Witnesses Live Feeding Of Willis Tower appeared first on The Onion .

EDINBURGH, SCOTLANDSighing as he prepared to board a bus to the airport for his return flight home, American tourist Ben Frachs reported feeling disappointed Friday to be leaving Scotland without having seen a single Fat Bastard. I cant believe I didnt spot one Fat Bastard the whole time I was here, said Frachs, who claimed [] The post Tourist Disappointed To Leave Scotland Without Seeing Single Fat Bastard appeared first on The Onion .

CHARLOTTE, NCAdmitting he was baffled that the seven days without whiskey hadnt already made him a high-functioning member of society, local one-week sober man Trent Ross told reporters Friday he thought all his problems would have been fixed by now. Its been seven days since I had a drink, but I still havent gotten a [] The post One-Week Sober Man Thought All Problems Would Be Fixed By Now appeared first on The Onion .

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The Onion selects the best books to take on vacation this year. The post Bestselling Beach Reads appeared first on The Onion .

Whether youre out on the town or throwing a cozy event at home, karaoke can be a fun and cathartic group activity. The Onion shares tips for your next karaoke night. Hold the microphone one to two inches into your mouth. Pick a crowd-pleasing oldie that everyone knows, like Greensleeves or Froggy Went A-Courtin. Practice [] The post Tips For Karaoke appeared first on The Onion .

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New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani called on the federal government to execute the International Criminal Courts arrest warrant for Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu while he attends the U.N. General Assembly, claiming that New York City did not have the legal authority. What do you think? The post Mamdani Urges Feds To Arrest Netanyahu appeared first on The Onion .

With her roles in the current and upcoming blockbusters The Odyssey, Spider-Man: Brand New Day, and Dune: Part Three, Zendaya is having a banner year. The Onion sat down with the star to discuss whats new and whats next. The Onion: What drew you to The Odyssey ? Zendaya: Ive always had a passion for large [] The post The Onions Exclusive Interview With Zendaya appeared first on The Onion .

LOS ANGELESNoting that the extra small available on the sales floor just wouldnt work for his client, Zendayas stylist Law Roach reportedly asked a store associate Thursday if she had Tom Holland in any other sizes. Excuse me? This sample size wont work for Z, shes very tall, said Roach, who was overheard demanding that [] The post Law Roach Asks Store Associate If She Has Tom Holland In Different Size appeared first on The Onion .